Hear this difficult, but necessary word from Will Metzger in his book, Tell The Truth:
Is it kind to shatter a person's hope of salvation? Yes, because without scriptural grounds, it is nothing more than a false hope. A hope of acceptance by God based on such things as going forward in a meeting, praying a suggested prayer, imitating the experience of others, joining a church, attending many Christian meetings, being baptized, studying the Bible regularly, helping others, [being confirmed,] feeling good in a religious service or having a strong conviction that they are right with God is a hope not founded on biblical truths. Perhaps people may trust in the doctrine of election or in theological precision or baptism. They may have a sentimental belief in the general providence of God: "God has been good to me; God will take care of me." Yet people can be involved in any or all of these activities without ever looking to Jesus Christ as the only Savior and Lord. Without this there is no salvation. Without this there is no assurance. Let us in kindness alert these people to what Christ will say to them on the day of judgment. "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?" Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!' (p80-81)" (Matthew 7:21-23)"
Metzger says there are two questions: How do you become a Christian? and How do we know if we are a Christian? The first is answered by, "You become a Christian through repentance toward God and faith in Christ alone as Savior and Lord." The second is answered by looking at your life for these results:
"The first pillar of assurance is a trust in the promises of God as being promises to you. You count them true and take them personally. The second is the beginning of a change in your attitudes and actions corresponding to the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5) and the marks of salvation (1 John). The third is the inner witness of God's Spirit to your spirit that you are his child (Romans 8)." (p79)